For those of you who don't know, Patty Duke is a wonderful actress who often talks about her bipolar disorder. She has written two books about her life, "Call Me Anna" & "A Brilliant Madness" & starred in a movie about herself & she is very open about things her illness has caused her to do. Several years ago I saw an extended interview or documentary of sorts online with this amazing woman & I was hooked. I had never seen anyone talk so casually about their mental illness & she started doing that a long time before it was considered mentionable. I immediately bought "A Brilliant Madness" &, even though my illness is bipolar II & I don't have the extreme manic episodes she did, I devoured the book, looking for those parts that made me feel less alone. I cried for her & her family & I wondered how a woman whose career was so public could let us all in on such personal, difficult things. I couldn't imagine she had left anything out. Fortunately, I got to ask her.
First I emailed her. Yes, she actually has a public email address. I had to tell her how much I appreciated & admired her honesty, how finding pieces of myself in her book was therapeutic in a way & how my heart broke for her & especially for her boys. (Anyone remember Sam in the "Lord of the Rings" movies? That's Sean & Mackenzie shows up on every show I watch) Anyway, she answered me! One of the things she said is that we are sisters in this fight. Sisters. So that was it. That was why she had decided to be so open about her struggles & the pain she had caused others. So that I could know someone understood. So that we all could.
Several months after that, I got to see her speak at a college about her life experiences. I had tears pouring down my face the whole time, especially when she talked about asking her boys for forgiveness. I looked around the auditorium at many who probably came to hear her because she is a much-loved actress & wondered how many were there for the same reason I was - because they felt that bond with someone who understands. As I sat there crying (& laughing as she is as funny as she is tiny), I felt such love & gratefulness toward her. After her talk, she came down on the floor & was talking with everyone as they surrounded her. I wanted my say & to get her to sign my copy of "A Brilliant Madness". I needed her to understand what it meant because it felt like it was written only for me. I kept missing my turn to talk to her but, as she gabbed like we were all girlfriends, she kept her hand on my shoulder. Then somebody yelled that they needed her back on the stage for pictures & she moved away. I decided that was okay. I didn't need a signature & I had already spoken to her by email but I sat on the front row to watch her onstage as the crowd headed to the back of the auditorium to leave. Then a man started talking to me. Her husband Mike. I had not recognized him from the online piece about her & we talked for maybe thirty minutes. I could tell he loves her deeply & is the kind of man who wants to take care of the one he loves. He was a sweetheart. We talked about medication & struggles & how he can tell when her drugs need adjusting. He asked about my illness & what I was taking. He knew what he was talking about. When she was through with the photographer, he took me by the arm & pulled me up the steps onto the stage & introduced me to his lovely wife. She was a sweetheart too. She signed my book while I told her what it meant to me. I also asked her if she hesitated at all about putting those personal, painful things out there for everyone to see. She simply shrugged, shook her head & said, "No". And I know why. She knows. She was one of us when no one talked about it & she was suffering alone. She didn't let that happen to the rest of us. She is a hero of mine for that very reason. She took the risk for me & we had never met. After Mr. Mike took a picture of her & me & I took one of the two of them, I got big hugs from both as well as several reminders to take my meds & I left.
Now I watch anything she appears in to see my "friend" & I think about how much she has done for all of us who suffer from mental illness. And her name is really Anna, not Patty, so thank you, Miss Anna!!
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